I came up with the following politically correct acronyms for
remembering these simple motivational steps in the custody process...
PAPA (Perserverance; Attitude; Plan: Action) and
PAPA (Perserverance; Attitude; Plan: Action) and
MAMA
(Moxie; Attitude; Method; Action)
PERSEVERANCE/MOXIE:
THE ABILITY TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD EVEN ON
THOSE DAYS YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP (ESPECIALLY ON THOSE DAYS!).
THIS IS WHERE IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE A COACH! YOUR ATTY CAN TRY TO
PEP YOU UP BUT THEY REALLY AREN’T GETTING PAID TO DO THAT. PLUS THEY
HAVE MULTIPLE CASES THEY’RE WORKING ON AND CAN’T OFFER YOU THE
ONE-ON-ONE TIME YOU MAY DESIRE, WHEN YOU DESIRE. THIS IS WHAT I DO!
ALL DAY LONG, EVERY DAY! I WANT TO HELP! YOU’RE NOT GOING TO GET THE
HELP YOU DESIRE FROM FAMILY, FRIENDS, ACQUAINTANCES, EXES, ETC. IF
THEY’RE WORTH THEIR WEIGHT, THEY’LL OFFER YOU AN EAR TO LISTEN AND MAY
MAKE SUGGESTIONS, BUT, ULTIMATELY, YOU’LL FIND OUT THEY CAN’T GIVE YOU
THEIR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION! THEY HAVE THEIR LIVES TO LIVE. YOU CAN’T
BLAME THEM. SO, THIS IS WHERE A CUSTODY COACH REALLY COMES IN HANDY!
REALLY!
ATTITUDE:
THIS ISN’T ABOUT GOOD ATTITUDE/BAD ATTITUDE. THIS MEANS TO HAVE THE
ATTITUDE THAT YOU’RE GOING TO WIN!
WHATEVER IT TAKES AND AS LONG AS IT TAKES YOU WILL KEEP FIGHTING UNTIL
YOU ULTIMATELY WIN. DON’T GET ME WRONG, GOOD ATTITUDES AND BAD
ATTITUDES PLAY A SIGNIFICANT ROLE IN HOW YOU’LL DEAL WITH YOUR CUSTODY
ISSUE. BUT, WE ALL KNOW, IT’S DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN A GOOD ATTITUDE
ALL THE TIME. IT BECOMES ESPECIALLY DIFFICULT TO DO SO WHEN THE REAL
GUT-WRENCHING PROBLEMS OF THE CASE START TO ARISE. IT’S ALMOST
IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO LET A LITTLE BAD ATTITUDE THOUGHTS CREEP IN! BUT, A
COACH ON CALL WOULD ALLOW YOU QUICK ACCESS TO SOMEONE TO VENT TO OR TO
GUIDE YOU THROUGH THAT TUMULTUOUS SITUATION. GOOD ATTITUDES ARE BEST
TO MAINTAIN AND WHEN A BAD ATTITUDE STRIKES IT’S BEST TO REDIRECT AS
QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. OVERALL, THOUGH, YOU HAVE TO CONSISTENTLY
MAINTAIN A POSITIVE OUTLOOK ON THINGS. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT A COACH
CAN DO FOR YOU. YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU HEAR AT TIMES, BUT, A COACH
IS THERE TO GUIDE YOU THROUGH THE REALITY! GOOD OR BAD! AND HELP YOU
TO MAINTAIN YOUR FOCUS ON THE BIGGER PICTURE, WHICH IS TO GAIN
CUSTODY!
PLAN/METHOD: YOU MUST HAVE A PLAN! SOUNDS SIMPLE, BUT, IT NEVER IS! ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO CUSTODY ISSUES. ORGANIZING A PLAN WILL REQUIRE TIME, COMMITMENT, AND EFFORT. BE READY TO APPLY ALL FOR IF YOU DON’T THEN YOU LIMIT YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING. A COACH CAN GUIDE YOU.
ACTION:
WITHOUT THIS, OBVIOUSLY, NOTHING WILL GET DONE.
AS LONG AS YOU MAINTAIN EACH OF THE PRECEDING POINTS, THIS SHOULD
HAPPEN AUTOMATICALLY. BUT, YOU MUST ACT ON ANY OF THE ABOVE, BECAUSE
ACTION IS REALLY THE ONLY THING THAT’S GOING TO GET YOU THE RESULTS
YOU WANT.
MY OBJECTIVE:
To steer your thoughts away from thinking about the problem and to aid
you in focusing on the solution. I know how difficult it can be to
stay focused when you’re going through the ordeal. I lived it
first-hand for 10 years! That experience has led me to share my
abilities to maintain the proper focus as needed. Don’t get me wrong,
I waivered many times in my mind, but, ultimately I won! I was able to
compartmentalize feelings when I had to. I didn’t want to and despised
the fact I was being forced to do so, but, it was essential in order
to prevail. The Big Picture is the focus. Not the here and now. Yes,
you have to be present, but, your mind needs to be steadfast in
positive thoughts. You are allowed to experience negative
feelings-that’s inevitable, but, the objective is not to dwell on
them. Instead you will learn to recognize the negative feelings and
instantly apply coping skills to keep you on track towards a
solution-oriented outcome.
One of the main reasons for developing this Custody Coaching Program
is because it was extremely bothersome for me to be bounced around
from one person/agency to another trying to find answers as I was
seeking those solutions.
THERE IS NOT ONE NUMBER TO CALL!
I constantly found myself wishing there was a 911 number to call for
immediate help in these custody issues. How many times does it take to
get the job done right? As many times as it takes! Additionally, it
was extremely hard to go through the process of alienating family and
friends because all I could talk about was this big, dark cloud which
was hanging over me ALL THE TIME. The longer the process takes, the
more alienation occurs.
All that led me to this! I’m one of those people who does not like to
see others go through the same negative situations I went through.
Certainly I am in favor of learning from first-hand experience, but, I
believe more in learning through others’ first-hand experiences. If I
can help others alleviate just a little bit of the stress associated
with a custody battle then I have done good. I want to be able to help
many, if not all people going through this.
It is my desire to be that “one number to call.”
To be the sounding board that offers advice with pinpoint accuracy on
how to deal with such an emotional issue. The person who you can and
should turn to when you need to reach out and discuss any aspect of
your case should be me! I understand the importance of focusing on the
solutions from an objective standpoint while maintaining all your
relationships.
As much as your advice-givers may give you advice now, ultimately they
all have their own agendas. An attorney is not a life counselor. Your
friends and family aren’t either. Many times friends and family are
counterproductive because they aren’t necessarily the ones who can
give you the answers. Oftentimes, the more you go to them with the
same problem over and over and over again, the more you push them away
and the less likely they are to take your call.
Unlike an attorney! I jest, but, really how many times have you called
your attorney’s office to get him/her on the phone right away? Every
time? Yeah, I didn’t think so. And let’s say you had to leave a
message…did you get a call back right away? I didn’t think so. I’m not
trying to bash attorneys. I’m just saying they aren’t focused on just
your one case and we all have been conditioned NOT TO EXPECT them to
get back to us right away. I’m the complete opposite! That’s what you
pay me to do, right? Sorry to be so blunt but think about it. Let it
sink in. You pay an attorney to take care of the legal stuff. You
don’t pay your friends and family. Then there’s me. I’m the one in
between. I’m the one you expect to go to for the answers. And that’s
what I will provide. That way you can maintain your relationships with
friends, family, and your attorney.
THE PROGRAM :
THE PROGRAM IS A SELF-HELP GUIDE THROUGH THE MAZE THAT IS THE FAMILY
LAW SYSTEM.
THE PROGRAM IS NOT TO BE TAKEN AS A LEGAL GUIDE. INSTEAD, THE PROGRAM
IS AN INSIDE LOOK INTO THE BOWELS OF A CORRUPT SYSTEM WITH A GAME PLAN
FOR HELPING
YOU .
THE PROGRAM WORKS BEST BY UTILIZING THE EBOOK AS A KIND OF MAP THROUGH
THE MAZE. THE OPEN LINE OF COMMUNICATION VIA CALLS, TEXTS, OR EMAILS,
ACTS AS THE BACKING NEEDED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH HELP SHOULD YOU NEED
IT. CONSIDER US THE “PHONE A FRIEND” PORTION OF THE PROGRAM THERE WHEN
YOU NEED IT MOST! WHETHER YOU NEED TO PLAN YOUR NEXT COURSE OF ACTION,
UNDERSTAND “WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED,” JUST SIMPLY NEED SOMEONE TO
TALK TO THAT CAN RELATE BECAUSE THEY’VE “BEEN THERE/DONE THAT,” NEED
TO BLOW OFF SOME STEAM, NEED A SHOULDER TO CRY ON, OR WANT SOMEONE TO
LISTEN WITHOUT FEAR OF ALIENATION BECAUSE THIS “THING” HAS CONSUMED
YOU AND IS THE ONLY TOPIC OF CONVERSATION…WE DON’T LEAVE YOU HANGING!
THAT’S WHAT THE PROGRAM IS DESIGNED FOR! WE WANT TO HELP YOU IN ANY
WAY WE CAN.
$1 GETS YOU INSTANT ACCESS TO A RESPONSIVE HUMAN BEING EQUIPPED TO
UNDERSTAND YOU!
ARRANGE FOR UNLIMITED FOLLOW-UP CALLS OR EMAILS OR TEXTS. HOWEVER YOU
WANT TO COMMO.
PEACE OF MIND KNOWING YOU CAN COMMUNICATE WHENEVER YOU WANT/HOWEVER
YOU WANT!
BUY THE FULL PROGRAM FOR $100! GUARANTEED TO BE MORE INFORMATIVE AND
LESS COSTLY THAN AN HOUR OF AN ATTORNEY’S TIME! OR YOUR MONEY BACK!
SIGN UP FOR THE “SUPPORT GROUP” COACHING SESSIONS WHERE PEOPLE GATHER
ONLINE TO DISCUSS THEIR FAMILY LAW ISSUES. WE THEN AS A GROUP DISSECT
THE ISSUES AND ATTEMPT TO GIVE EVERYONE INVOLVED A COURSE OF ACTION TO
TAKE UPON LEAVING THE SESSION.
1) PREPARE TO WORK
-Regardless of whether you have all the money in the world or know the best
attorney there is, PREPARE TO WORK! You will need to be diligent in your
case to get the results that
YOU want.
Don’t expect just because you hire an attorney that your case is in their
hands and you can relax. It’s almost a guarantee, no matter how good the
attorney is, you will need to do work to ensure they are staying on track
with your desired outcome. Two main things to remember are: 1) You’re not
that attorney’s only client and 2) Because you’re not their only client
their interests will not be focused on
just your case .
It’s a foolish notion to believe they will be, so…BE PREPARED TO WORK!
2)
PREPARE TO BE NICKLED AND DIMED-
I’ll sum it up for you: THEY CHARGE FOR EVERYTHING! That text message you
sent to thank them for their efforts on your case-
Cha Ching
. The missed documentation they should have completed and sent to the
necessary agency which you mentioned needed to be sent because something
negative happened to you because it wasn’t sent-
Cha Ching
. Court ordered drug test for the opposing party-
Cha Ching
. Other party fails to submit interrogatories and your attorney says, “Don’t
you worry, we’ll just get the judge to order a deposition hearing.”-
Cha Cha Ching!
(the judge orders the hearing and you pay for that time and the time to
prepare the deposition and the deposition time and the court reporter used
to record the deposition and the copies of the deposition if requested
and…you get the point!). Just be prepared for every little thing to be
charged to you. If you can conceive it, you will receive it! A bill that is.
3) PREPARE TO BE IGNORED
-Just prepare to be and you will be more relaxed when you get the feelings
of being blown off or ignored. They’re bound to happen as attorneys aren’t
necessarily noted for their timely responses. Remember, your case is the
most important case to
YOU . Sad to
say, but, to your attorney, you’re just a paycheck and they’re hustling many
paychecks. They may play friendly but it’s all to get into your wallet and
keep those billable hours racking up. Remember, they run a business! Nothing
personal, just business. So, go back to #1 and do much of the work to steer
them when you do get hold of them.
4) PREPARE TO BE TENACIOUS
-Tenacity will be required throughout the proceedings, however long they
last. From Day One to Final Judgment, be prepared to keep moving forward. As
soon as you stop moving forward, the case stops moving forward. You must be
there to push it towards your desired goal.
5)
PREPARE TO CELEBRATE!-
Arrogant? Narcissistic? Who cares?! The intent behind focusing on the day
you will celebrate is to keep you focused on the main goal:
TO WIN! I’m
not saying you’re any of the above (arrogant, narcissistic, or anything
else) because you want to win, but, that is the simplistic objective for
hiring the attorney, taking this to court, and spending all that money. You
don’t go into this thing to lose and surely you don’t intend to just throw
money away, do you? Of course not! So, keep in mind, that whatever your goal
is, that’s where you should focus. Without fail. Nothing else matters.
Prepare to celebrate!
